


Ash Lynx Meets Nicki Minaj

by laanatdelrey



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Crack, Dinner, Fanboy, Gen, I mean extreme crack, Music, Nicki Minaj - Freeform, Red Lobster, ash and nicki are bffs, ash lynx - Freeform, bfish fandom came at me for this, i came up with this at 3am, they rap roman's revenge together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-04
Updated: 2020-09-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:14:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26264806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laanatdelrey/pseuds/laanatdelrey
Summary: Ash Lynx wins a raffle to meet Nicki Minaj.Little did he know that they were going to be best friends.
Relationships: Ash Lynx & Nicki Minaj, Ash Lynx & Shorter Wong, Ash Lynx/Okumura Eiji
Comments: 12
Kudos: 51





	Ash Lynx Meets Nicki Minaj

**Author's Note:**

> dear reader,  
> this is a completely self indulgent crack fic. This is going to be a two chapter series since there's so much going on. In this chapter they meet and they're gonna eat dinner together aha
> 
> and if anyone sees this, i have nothing else to say except: im sorry <3
> 
> \- M, @E1B1OKUMURA on twitter

Shorter heard shrieking coming from the study room of their New York apartment. He was working on his assignment for film when he heard high pitched squealing coming from where Ash was. What happened?

He rushed over and bust through the door, only to see Ash on the floor, hyperventilating.

“Ash?” Shorter exclaimed, “Is everything alright? Are you okay?--”

Ash sprang up from the floor and started jumping up and down, squealing noises only coming out of him. “OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! SHORTER!” He squealed in a completely high pitched voice that was so unlike him, “I WON A RAFFLE! TO MEET NICKI FRICKING MINAJ!” As thick tears started rolling down his cheeks. He buried his face in his hands, and started sobbing.

Shorter clapped a hand on his forehead. “Ohhhh, so that was the raffle you were talking about.”

Ash Lynx recently signed up for a raffle to meet up with Nicki Minaj. The lucky winner gets to have dinner with the famous female rap artist Nicki Minaj,  _ at Red Lobster _ ! He thought his chances of winning were quite low, considering that over 500,000 of Nicki’s fans entered the raffle. But, Ash is a huge fan of Nicki’s music. And he  _ loves _ Red Lobster. He had to have some hope in his heart that he would meet her someday! 

“I CAN’T BELIEVE IT! I WON! OH MY GOD--HAAAH! HAAAH! HAAAH!” He shrieked again, bouncing up and down like a child who just bought a new toy, “HELP ME SHORTER I’M HYPERVENTILATING, I CAN’T--I’M GONNA MEET NICKI, I’M GONNA MEET MISS NICKI, HAAH! HAAH! HAAH!---I CAN’T BREATHE! THIS IS REAL HOLY SHIT!” 

“Ash, you need to calm down!” Shorter exclaimed, overwhelmed with Ash’s behavior, “Take deep breaths. This is real, yes, but you need to breathe! Deep breaths...yes, there you go.”

Ash sucked in a deep breath, collecting his thoughts. “Shorter...I wrote a Nicki Minaj X Shrek fan fiction, and I have all of her albums on vinyl…you have no idea how much this means to me…”

“Oh come on, Ash, I can clearly see that,” Shorter said bluntly. “Are you sure this isn’t a scam?”

“Dude. This was announced on Nicki’s twitter,” Ash rolled his eyes.

“Really, Ash? Dinner? At Red Lobster? Why not at a high-class restaurant?” Shorter quipped. “Sounds fishy to me.”

“No, this is serious Shorter,” Ash retorted, “Nicki Minaj was  _ fired _ at Red Lobster! So why not have dinner there? She even joked about it. And she had dinner with Jimmy Fallon there.”

“Okay, okay, I get it. When is this thing anyway?”

“Nicki’s agent will contact me. It’s in two weeks.”

Shorter didn’t even know what to say at this point. “Um. Okay.”

___

It was the day of the meetup with Nicki. Ash stared at the calendar on his wall, the words “Meeting with Nicki” scribbled with doodles and a happy face. 

  
Shorter was going to drop him off at the giant Red Lobster restaurant in New York City at seven o’clock, where he was finally going to meet Nicki.

Finally.

However, Ash had a dilemma: what is he going to wear?

“Shorter?” He called out to his friend who was sitting behind him, “What should I wear?”

He held out two shirts on clothing hangers. “Should I wear my Nicki Minaj merch or go for my tuxedo? Since...this is Nicki Minaj?”

Shorter rolled his eyes, watching his friend have a fashion dilemma. “Ash. She’s not going to wear her Meet Gala dress, for God’s sake. Go for something casual!”

“But she’s  _ Nicki Minaj, _ I need to look good--”

“But you shouldn’t wear a tuxedo to a  _ seafood _ restaurant!” Shorter cried out, “Just wear your hoodie and ripped jeans. No biggie!”

“Shorter. You have a terrible fashion sense.”

“Says the one who has a closet filled with ripped jeans!”

“Okay, okay we get it Shorter.” Ash retorted, putting his hands on his hips.

Shorter huffed. “Wait, Ash...How about you wear that black turtleneck Eiji gave you for your birthday?”

A cherry red blush creeped on Ash’s cheeks. “O-o-oh...that’s a great idea, Shorter.”

He rummaged through his closet to fish out the black turtleneck and a pair of simple blue jeans (without holes, of course.) Without Shorter looking, he buried his nose in the turtleneck, inhaling to find Eiji’s scent.  _ Oh, right. It was a gift _ . He turned back.

“Simple, yet classy. Shorter, thank you so much you’re an angel!” Ash cried out, pulling him into a hug. Shorter groaned, “Ugh, stop being so sappy!”

__

Ash was freaking out.

“SHORTER!!! YOU TOOK THE WRONG TURN?? WHY ARE WE AT A WENDY’S PARKING LOT? IM SUPPOSED TO GO TO RED FRICKING LOBSTER, NOT A GREASY ASS FAST FOOD RESTAURANT. TAKE A TURN!” He yelled as Shorter frantically made a U turn. “CALM DOWN, WE’LL MAKE IT ON TIME!” Shorter hollered as Ash began to freak out more.

___

“Shorter? Does this look okay?”

“What if I cry? I literally cried when I won the raffle. I mean literally. I couldn’t stop wailing.”

“What should I say to her?”

He was saying all of this as he fiddled with his hair for the gazillionth time and started fidgeting. His knee wouldn’t stop shaking.

They made it to the Red Lobster’s parking lot. Shorter decided to give Ash a pep talk.

“Look, dude.” Shorter placed a hand on his shoulder. “Just act natural. You’ll be fine! You’re acting like this is a date of some sort.”

“Nicki is MARRIED.”

“Fine, fine! Whatever,” Shorter waved it off, “Don’t stress out. You’re acting like an annoying ass fangirl for goodness sake. But PLEASE for the love of God, don’t tell Nicki about that Shrek X Nicki fanfic that has over 2000 hits--”

“I am NEVER going to talk about THAT era, Shorter,” Ash interrupted. “Now let me go. I’m late. Aaaaghhhh….”

“Good luck. Man up!”

“Thanks.” Ash gave a nervous thumbs up and a crooked grin.

___

  
  


Ash took a deep breath, standing before the restaurant.  _ I will not freak out. I will not freak out. But what do I say? Nicki, you are very nice,iloveyourmusicsomuchyoursongsslapyouaremyinspiration--noooo!! I’m going to have to wing this! _

He cracked his knuckles, gulped, and walked to the empty restaurant reserved solely for the star.

Lo and behold, was Nicki Minaj. She wore a simple gray blazer over a white shirt. Her long, signature thick black hair was tied up in a neat bun. Donning cat eyeliner and bangs, Nicki flashed her Chesire cat smile. “Hello!”

Oh my god.

Oh my god. 

Oh my god. 

_ This is real. I can’t believe this. _

At that moment, Ash went numb. Completely numb. No words would leave his mouth. His lips suddenly became dry. His heart literally stopped beating. His idol was sitting right in front of him!  _ Ash, please! Say something!  _ He was completely star struck.

Ash Lynx, confident, talented and assured. Top debater of his university. Won national public speaking competitions in high school. And he can’t get a single word to leave his mouth?

“H-h-uh...uh…” He croaked.

Nicki gestured towards her table, “You must be the lucky fan who won my raffle! You seem like a shy one, though. Come sit!”

Something about Nicki reassured Ash inside. Okay, she totally had that kind, motherly vibe in her. Even when she seemed like a sassy queen in her songs. 

Ash slowly sat his ass down on the brown stool.  _ Deep breaths, Ash. Deep breaths.  _ He’s squealed and cried enough! 

“What’s your name, honey?” Nicki inquired.

“A-Ash,” He stuttered, tripping over his words. “I-I’m eighteen years old!” He babbled like a child learning how to speak.  _ Goddammit. I need to calm down. Say something else! “ _ I-I also l-l-l-love your music!” 

Nicki smiled, the happiness and amusement of a shy fan gracing her features. “Thank you! I’m so glad you like my music!”

Just then, a waiter came in with two menus, also donning a smile. “Good evening, Ms. Onika Maraj and Mr. Aslan Callenreese! What would you like to order tonight?”

“Thank you! I’ll take it from here.” Nicki beamed. 

Nicki began to explain the menu. Apparently, she seemed like an expert on the Red Lobster Menu. “Don’t get the shrimp alfredo, it’s too bland...steak is something you get at every restaurant, try something else…” Nicki explained as she pointed to various parts of the menu, “You like seafood, honey?”

“Y-yes,” Ash croaked, feeling like a child. “C-crab.”

“Try their crab legs, they’re good!” Nicki advised, “But my favorite has got to be the Cajun chicken pasta. I’m actually going to order that.”

The pair ended up ordering a wide variety of food. Nicki ordered her Cajun chicken pasta and margarita, and Ash ordered crab legs with a side of extra Cheddar biscuits. 

As the waiter left with their order, Ash finally spoke, gaining his confidence. “U-uh...Is it true you worked at Red Lobster?”

Nicki cackled, “Sweetie, I was fired from five different branches!” Ash couldn’t help but chuckle, too. Maybe a little too much since he was trying to keep himself together. 

“Did you actually flip off a customer?” Ash laughed.

“Well, there was this couple that stole my pen,” Nicki explained, waving her hands in the air, “And they didn’t tip me either. So I went to their car, banged on their window and yelled at them to give me my pen back. And I flipped them off with both fingers.”

“Your manager fired you on the spot, correct?”

“Yes.” Nicki laughed. “I hated all of it. I never had the patience to work at such places, people are so damn rude, I swear to god.”

“My...cru--friend works at a coffee shop!” Ash blurted out, “A-and he’s very good at it. He says it’s a very hectic job, though.”

“Kid, let me give you one piece of advice when going into adulthood,” said Nicki. “Never EVER get a job waiting tables in a dingy little restaurant or something. Your blood pressure will skyrocket.”

“Y-yeah, I guess…” Ash scratched his head, fidgeting a little, “I wanna work in a library someday.”

“Ooo, a library! You sound like a smart one.” Nicki rested her chin on her knuckles. “Tell me more about yourself.”

“P-Political science and English Lit major at New York Uni” Ash said. “Um...I’m from Boston?”

“That’s why you have a thick ass Boston accent.” Nicki pointed out. “Anyway, that’s pretty cool! You got a love life?” Nicki winked.

At that moment Ash blushed. Hard. “U-u-u-uh...w-well…”

“I can see you like someone! Tell me more about your boo!”

“Yeah, I think I do?” Ash nervously scratched his neck. “Um. He’s from Japan. He's in my History course. He’s...” A dreamy smile appeared on his pale ass face, “He’s a Fine Arts major specializing in photography. He has nice hair, and he’s so freaking kind...I think he’s an INFP for sure…”

“Why don’t you tell him how much you like him?’

Ash fell silent. He tried to open his mouth to speak but nothing would come out. “Uh--”

“Aww you’re so shy! C'monn, you need to tell this boy you love him!” Nicki exclaimed.

“Um, yeah...I don’t know how to though.” Ash squeaked, head drooping low like a shy anime girl. “Because like...I’m not sure if i’m worthy enough for him.”

“You need to know your worth. Everyone is capable of something!” She advised, “You must care about him very much ; he would love to have such a caring boyfriend like you!”

“Thanks,” Ash blushed. “Maybe when I’m ready…”

Just then, the waiter arrived with their food. “Dinner is served!” She exclaimed, as she gracefully placed all of their dishes on the table. Immediately, Ash got overwhelmed with the heaps of food presented in front of him. Tall glasses of coke, crab legs and giant lobsters, cheddar biscuits and a giant bowl of pasta. Ash gulped.  _ There’s so much food! _

“Dig in! Let’s start with the cheddar biscuits!” Nicki declared, “There’s a very special way of eating cheddar biscuits.” She grabbed a biscuit from the basket. “You take one biscuit, and whirl it around three times. Then, bite!”

Ash grabbed a biscuit, and together they whirled their biscuits in circles. “One, two, three!” And they bit into their biscuits. Immediately, a burst of cheddar and goodness exploded in Ash’s mouth. Those cheddar biscuits were  _ delicious _ . “Those are good!”

“They’re also my favorite part of Red Lobster, too!” Nicki commented.

The pair continued on with their dinner, happily trying out the seafood together. 

___

Ash Lynx learned three things that evening.

  1. Nicki Minaj was actually pretty friendly in person
  2. They both had a lot in common. It turned out Nicki was similar in some ways to Ash. By the end of the dinner, Ash really warmed up to her.
  3. She also gave great advice!



And there was one more thing that Ash came up with.  _ They have the potential to be best friends. _

They spent so much time laughing and telling stories. Ash felt like he could really confide in her. 

He had a great time spending the evening with the lovely Nicki Minaj. He couldn’t wait to tell all of his friends about it--he even took a selfie with Nicki to prove it!

As they bid their farewell, Nicki stopped Ash for a moment.

She rummaged through her pocket to fish out three tickets.

At that moment, Ash’s inner fanboy jumped out. “FREE TICKETS? TO YOUR CONCERT???” He squealed, even hopping a little bit.

“Front row. And VIP Passes. BUT--” Nicki Minaj smirked, “I am only gonna give them to you if you tell that roommate of yours how much you wanna be his boyfriend. A ticket for you, your boyfriend, and one more friend.”

Ash blushed. Again. 

“You’re going to contact me when you tell him, and  _ then _ I’ll give you free tickets to my concert.” said Nicki.

_ I’M GONNA GET NICKI MINAJ’S PHONE NUMBER?  _ He thought excitedly as they exchanged numbers. 

“Thank you, Nicki. I had a blast spending time with you.” Ash smiled. At least he didn’t stutter anymore.

“Anytime!” She winked. “Make sure to update!”

“Alright!”

She drove off in her limousine, and Ash watched as she went farther away until she disappeared. 

___

Ash was buckling his seatbelt as Shorter watched him giddily move around.

“Well, how was it?” Shorter inquired.

Ash’s inner fanboy finally began to show. He sucked in a deep breath, and started squealing. “OH MY GOD, SHORTER! YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENED AT THE DINNER--”

“AH, SHIT! HERE WE GO AGAIN!” Shorter groaned as he sunk into his car seat. 

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> stay tuned for part 2 everyone! it's gonna be wilder ;)


End file.
